RECESSION DIARY 3

RECESSION DIARY 3
DIVERSIFICATION
Feeling glum as the recession bites harder and my meagre Government pittance is yet to be paid. Is this part of the recession blues for as Sallah approaches one was expecting to be boxed up to go flexing this upcoming long weekend. Well that plan has to be shelved for obviously some Government egg-heads wants someone to beg to be paid or maybe its a divine plan to save the monies until after Sallah so that man pikin won't be broke before month ending. Thank you Government Egg-heads na you try pass. It is not easy to balance accounts in a recession.
However I learnt a second lesson about the recession yesterday. And it is called Diversification.
After deciding that I don't want to belong to those sporting the new recession hair cut called Afro 70, I pondered where I can get a hair cut considering many a barber have closed shop because of the recession.
Then I remember my first barber having not cut hair there in over a  year prefering somewhere closer home until now. I recollect I bought my old durable clipper from him and recently his mum was a patient of mine thus my interaction with him then made me recollect at that moment he was still likely to be in town.
So off I drove for the first time in a while to get just a hair cut.
And low true to form my man was still in business snipping away like never before. And as I waited my turn I knew why my man will survive, recession or no recession.
For trimming hair is not his only enterprise. He sells clippers and other accessories as well as hair creams even the once longed for Sporting waves.
But that's not the end of his enterprise. He also sells recharge cards to both retailers and wholesalers. He also owns a photographing/video unit that takes passport photographs, shoots videos at social events and develops framed  pictures of various sizes. As I looked at his gallery of pictures of weddings and burials I realised that this wasn't the limit of his talents and enterprise. The man could draw like no other. Lifesized hand painted portraits of notable individuals were in a corner of his studio as bait to tempt desirious customers.
With his rosy cheeks and rotund belly you could tell that this was one artisan that won't be feeling the pinch of the recession and crying for Government salary by the end or is it now beginning of the next month.
And the key to his survival is diversification. Indeed he started small but invested his earnings in different fields while still maintaining his artistic gift to augment his income. This is a man who doesn't need paper qualification to survive but is making an honest living without defrauding or kidnapping anyone. Indeed these are the kind of people that should be celebrated in Nigeria and given National Honours and not the clueless politicians and civil servants that failed to diversify our economy prefering to subsist on the proceeds of oil and now the bubble has burst they all shout WELCOME TO THE RECESSION...opps Sorry Recession is just a word.
As I sat snipping my hair and striking conversation with my new hero, I realised that  even my barber would make a better leader than most of our political class who have failed the nation and brought untold hardship on Nigerians for indeed this multi-talented man is obviously a better manager of resources than those we have elected to guide us out of growth and into a recession.
Scrolling through my phone I saw the pictures of another victim of Buharinomics. A man apparently distressed at the recession and the level of poverty it has inflicted on him had climbed to the top of a skyscrapper and stripped naked. Thus poised in his birthday suit he shouted
"Naked I came into this world so naked do I depart. Sai Buhariiiiiiii!" He screamed as he lept to his death. His mangled broken body lay in a pool of enlarging blood for onlookers to gawk over as they snapped pictures to upload to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, WhatsApp and other DMs in a bid to spread the news that Buharinomics has claimed another victim to add to the one who hungel himself at Mbiaobong in Akwa Ibom State.
Shaking my head I recollect my earlier prediction  just last week that many shall leap to their death from skyscrappers as the Great Recession bites harder. And this is just Day 4 and my prediction has come true. And the pundits claim it will take 3 years to crawl out of this mess hence my other prediction of Undertakers and Morticians thriving under the prevailing circumstances is also likely to be true as well. Wonder if those who say recession is just a word have seen the pictures of the latest victim of Buharinomics. Oh I forgot they only read cartoons and crossword puzzles.
Indeed Nigerians need to learn lesson Number 2 of the Recession which I have learnt the hard way .
Diversification. Expand your portfolio. Unleash your hidden talents.  Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Be like Obiano that is making millions selling ugwu. One doesn't have to be a Dangote to open an enterprise. Besides one of my colleagues is now a poultry farmer and as he always boasts, I am a hands on farmer not afraid to get dirty with the chicks.
Hence one must look inwards and disregard the shame of getting dirty or doing work considered to be demeaning to one's status to survive this recession so as to avoid the temptation of leaping naked from a high rise building to a certain death.

#DrAttahEssien